I recall a time when one of my cousins came to me telling me all the things happening to him and how he was tired of living. He was subtly threatening me that he wanted to end his life. For some reason my response was spontaneous and harsh; please go and let us know how many of us is remaining to share the limited resources (food) available.

With hindsight, that was a sharp insensitive response that I would not give with a hind sight but the truth is that Life happens to all.  DO YOU RESPONSE OR REACT when life throws its punch at you?

You may be asking what the difference is. There is a huge difference between the 2 and the difference is in the outcome.

Outcome of reaction is irritation, getting stuck, throwing out tantrums at people around you, playing the blame game etc. but the response of response is  inward reflection , outward assessment, taking responsibility , looking for lesson(s) learnt, improved capacity…etc.

The following analogy or experiment perfectly illustrates how we all respond to life struggles when we come across it.

When you take a kettle of water, heat up to boiling temperature, pour the boiling water to the following items (Fresh Egg, Carrot and tea bag) let’s see what happens to them after sometime .

The Egg gets hardened; the carrot becomes soft while the tea bag changed by infusing its content to move from one state to another and at the same time changing the water to tea.

Boiling water is figuratively the life that happens to everyone… no one is immuned to it.

How do you ride on life storms? Like the Eagle that use the storms to soar or the chicken that runs for cover?

How have you responded to life up till now?   CARROT, EGG and TEA BAG.

Is there a need to change? How do you hope to change? Let me hear from you. Share your experience for others to learn from you in the comments.

 

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2 Words That Will Change the Way You Shop

I love shopping online, it’s like a pass time for me and it’s so easy. Also, I see it as a time-saving measure.

So when I see a lovely dress especially on discount online oh an alarm rings in my brain … buy it before it is out of stock. I want to buy it right then and there! I almost can’t help myself. I have to have that dress! Am I the only one feeling like this? If you feel same, please let me know on the comment section below this blog write up.

But that’s when I think back to a lesson my friend’s mom (Mama!) taught me many years ago: wait overnight.

Whenever you decided that when we’re about to make a big purchase—or even a smaller purchase that’s more than you usually spend on that item or it’s not planned for (Not in the budget)—it’s best to take a breath, let the emotion die down, and wait overnight.

When you sleep on the decision, you put some time between your emotions and the transaction. You wake up the next morning with a fresh perspective. You may ask yourself, Do I really need that?

Here’s the catch: Even if you sleep on the decision and wake up the next morning ready to make the purchase, you still need to pay cash. The money needs to be in your bank account. Making a purchase with a credit card is just as bad as making a purchase on impulse.

Also, ask yourself, Do I really need this item right now? Chances are, you don’t. If you’re honest with yourself, that question should give you a healthy dose of perspective.

“Wait overnight. Put some time between your emotions and the transaction.”

In my situation, I bought that dress over two years ago, and I have not found an occasion to wear it to till date Yes. It’s a high-quality, beautiful dress and, for me, it was totally worth it! Guess what I bought it when it wasn’t planned for so I had to use credit card. Dumb decision isn’t it?

Dresses might not be your thing. You might be into electronics, shoes, golf clubs or even boats. But this rule applies to anything. Impulse buying can really wreck your finances. It’s a topic I spend some time on in my upcoming book.

 

So if you have cash and you agree on the decision with your spouse, there’s nothing wrong with making that purchase. Just wait overnight!

Try this and let me know how this tip work.

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3 Winning Tools To Attain For Financial Freedom

These are words you are not told to attain Financial Strength/muscles and Confidence.

  1. Sacrifice( Delayed Gratification). Holding off on what you could do or have now for a better and greater future gain.
  2. Discipline. Simply doing what you ought to do to achieve your desire goal or aim whether it is convenient or not.
  3. Hard-work . This never kills. It expands or stretches your capacity to earn more and live with more.

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How You Give Yourself Away Unknowingly! #TAKE IT BACK

For a very long time I lived with this question in my mind of why people easily don’t understand me. I was not necessarily desperate but really eager to have people tick the like button on me. Though it did happen but it was at a cost; cost of loosing me; cost of doing everything possible to conform to people’s expectation; cost of me not understanding my action therefore unable to explain the WHY of those actions( Since I was living other peoples’ scripts.

It’s a life of silent frustration as human manipulators hijacked this to turn me to their toys and redesign me to their own version of me.

You have no idea how long this went on in my life. I was living to please that friend, family, colleague, spouse, parents, in laws, the communities I found myself in.Conforming to their expectations and ignoring my expectations of me.

DOES THIS RESONATES WITH YOU? Do you find yourself like this to be a tiny bit like Me?

I was there and it wasn’t a pleasurable experience . You live not pleasing yourself and living other peoples’ scripts.

IF YOU LIVE LIKE THIS YOU CAN NEVER HAVE THE BEST SHOT AT LIFE!

It’s time to get out of the box that you have put yourself in. Yes..you read well. You said yes to the scripts of the others..it was not forced on you. Yes I know how it is like to not be liked and you want them to be like. FLASH NEWS- Everybody cannot like you and neither can you like everybody?

Have you sat to think that you too have people that are not on your favorite list because of who they are?How do you treat them ?Do you also try to fit them into your own box of expectations? If yes then you are as guilty as the people we are referring to .

Why do people do this? It’s natural to gravitate towards what you are familiar with, so when you meet with unfamiliar character traits ; you are left with 2 options –

1. To accommodate to understand if you can live with it or move away if it bothers on an integral value you uphold highly.
2. Unable to accommodate and cope with it so you try to emotionally manipulate the person to fit your expectations .

These are the 2 reactions we give and receive when we come across people whose values are not similar to ours.

So you as a victim in the box, what do you do to gain your freedom and start living to be you in your comfortable space..?

I shared the way out in the video below. Please watch and leave a comment on how the video RESONATE with you.

WATCH VIDEO HERE….

Atinuke O

 
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